Before you get to
the fun stuff below, I need to pass on some upsetting information
regarding our privacy rights. Did you know that now you can see anyone's
Driver's License on the Internet, including your own, picture and all!
Where are our rights? I definitely removed mine. I suggest you do the
same. Go to the web site and check it out. Just enter your name, city
and state to see if yours is on file. After your license comes on the
screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from
public viewing, but not from law enforcement.
James
http://www.license.shorturl.com
Are
you feeling unloved? Go to
www.wxpnews.com/J6x413/061003-We-Like-You to feel better.
How
can someone be their own grandpa? It's possible! Check it out at
www.ziplo.com/grandpa.htm.
What
the rapture might look like:
www.youtube.com/v/SmLhyPjHVes Don't be caught by surprise!
Trumpet Joke as submitted by Erica F.:
Ok...There's three clarinetists who are traveling with their band group on a
train to reach the place where they're having a concert. The three
clarinetists, however, only buy 1 ticket for them all. The three trumpet
players behind them say:
"Why did you buy 1 ticket for the three of you? Are you stupid or
something?" (May I remind you that trumpet players can lose their brains
sometimes....)
"No, just you watch us and see," the lead clarinetist says, sticking
the bell of his clarinet in the lead trumpet player's face.
When the train conductor is coming along the aisles collecting tickets, the
three clarinetists lock themselves in the bathroom together. When the
conductor comes by, he knocks on the door and asks,
"Ticket please," and the lead clarinetist hands out the one ticket, and
the conductor leaves, satisfied and thinking that only one person was in the
bathroom. Well, the trumpet players who had been watching all the time
thought that they were better than the clarinetists, and on the way back
they bought one ticket for the three of them. The clarinetists watched
this, and, having the clever minds they did, bought one ticket for each of
themselves and sat down-all but the lead clarinetist, who ran to the
bathroom before the conductor and knocked on the door, saying,
"Tickets please,"
The Joke: There area few. A) When the real conductor comes by and says,
"ticket please" there won't be a ticket to use. B) Notice that the lead
clarinetist said tickets, not ticket, cuz he knows that there are three
people in there and only 1 ticket.
Moral: Clarinetists are much smarter than trumpet players and will always outsmart
them! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
- How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds
just the right one.
- What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
- Gifted.
- How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how David
Sanborn would have done it.
- What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?
-
- Lawn mowers sound better in small ensembles.
- The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't
return it.
- The grip.
- You can tune a lawn mower.
- What's the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
- The exhaust.
Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world
when so much of it has passed through saxophones.
Brass
- How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better
they could have done it.
- What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
- Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
- How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
- "Hi. I'm better than you."
- How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
- The doorbell shrieks!
- Why can't a gorilla play trumpet?
- He's too sensitive.
In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a
symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement, when
she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she
started going improvising madly when she wasn't supposed to play at all.
After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation.
She said, "I looked in the score and it said `tacit'--so I took
it!"
- What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
-
- Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the
chain saw very still.
- It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.
Home
About Our
Company FAQ
Contact
Us Order
CDs
|